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OK... I messed up. What now?
A renewed decision to abstain from sexual activity after being a participant is an honorable thing to do. Secondary virginity, as it is called, is the greatest protection against STD and pre-marital pregnancy.
A Second Chance
Some common reasons why many are seeking secondary and full virginity:
- “I didn't like being used.”
- “We were so much into sex that we never became friends.”
- “Just because I made a mistake doesn't mean I have to keep on making the same mistakes.”
- “I'm going to wait because I have hurt a lot of people as well as myself; and I want to change my life for the best, for me and for my future children.”
How do I start over again?
- Understand and avoid the people, places, things, and situations that weaken your self-control.
- Avoid passionate kissing, intense hugging, or anything else that leads to lustful behaviors and sexual thoughts.
- Find creative/non-physical ways to show your devotion and love for one another.
- Only you can control your impulses and start over again.
- Save yourself for the wedding day from this time forward. Come on, you can tackle this.
- It's not too late to respect yourself.
Renewed Abstinence
If you have already had sex, it's not too late. You CAN start over, and take a vow of renewed abstinence. First, decide to stop having sex; and secondly, stick to your commitment.
Here are some things to consider when deciding to make the vow of Renewed Abstinence. It's all about SELF-RESPECT!
- Starting Over: You can start over with anything, including deciding to become abstinent.
- Express: Express your renewed commitment to abstinence.
- Love: You have to love yourself before you can love someone else. By choosing abstinence, you are communicating to others that you love your body, heart, and sexuality.
- Fulfillment: The key to fulfillment is to love yourself and surround yourself with people who truly love you and do things you like to do.
- Respect: Respect yourself and expect respect from others.
- Establish: Establish your morals and beliefs and stick to them.
- Sex: Sex is your gender and love is your choice.
- Prevention Plan: Create you own plan to stay abstinent and avoid risky situations.
- Emotions: Don't let your emotions get in the way of your goals and beliefs.
- Communication: There is a difference between sex and love. Communicate your renewed commitment with your friends and family.
- Trust: You can experience true love through trust and understanding, but don't assume you can trust everyone.