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Maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner is key to retaining your sexual ideals.
This page highlights several safety tips for dating and also dispels many myths about sharing your sexual position.
Safety Tips on Dates
- Don't go home alone in a car.
- Avoid places that are secluded.
- Don't go to a date's home or invite him to yours. These are the places where most acquaintance rapes occur.
- Trust your instincts.
- Don't be afraid to be rude.
- Avoid alcohol and drugs.
- Go on a group or double date.
Online dating
If you are considering online dating, here are a few suggestions you should consider:
- Be honest.
- Be up-front with your boundaries.
- Talk to each other several times before meeting. This is a great way to get to learn about the person's personality, interests, and goals. Time between conversations will give you greater time to digest your conversations and allow you to figure out if you are interested or not.
- Meet in public during the first two dates. It is the safest way to meet someone.
- Let a friend know whom you are going out with, and give that friend a telephone number and an e-mail address.
- Consider bringing along a friend with you on your first date. Safety counts.
- Never give out personal information before you have actually met the person.
Myths:
You won't lose your boyfriend
A lot of girls are worried that they will lose their boyfriends if they refuse to have sex. In reality, though, this almost never happens. When it does happen, it is a very good thing. Any guy that would leave a girl because she won't "put out" isn't worth having.
If you have a boyfriend and he is pressuring you into having sex, you need to be fully aware that what he is doing is wrong. If he really cared about you, he would be much more respectful and considerate of your desires.
Communicate your sexual limits
Be very clear as to what it is that you don't want to do. Be sure that the message you are sending is unmistakable. "We aren't having sex." "I want to wait for a long time." "I'm definitely not having sex at this age."
Be assertive
If he keeps trying to talk you into having sex, look him straight in the eye and say, "Didn't you hear what I said. We're not having sex." The more straightforward you are, the less likely it is that your boyfriend will keep pressuring you to sleep with him.
Talk about it
Don't wait until the two of you are half-naked in bed before you decide to talk to him about your desire to not have sex. Take the initiative and have the talk before the two of you ever get in a sexual situation. This way he will know what to expect and not push for anything more.
Walk away
If your boyfriend keeps trying to pressure you into having sex, you have two options:
- Walk away from the situation. Don't give him the chance to break you down. Leave the room abruptly, and make it clear as to why you are going. He will get the message and won't be so sexually aggressive in the future.
- Leave him. Don't stay with a guy who is constantly trying to get you to do something that you don't want to do. There are plenty of guys out there who will respect your desires.