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Maintaining a healthy relationship with your girlfriend or fiance is a difficult thing even within a strong family environment or support from a friend.
Here are some safety tips for dating which will help to dispel many of the myths and physcology which can be prevalent among those who date or are engaged.
Safety Tips on Dates
- Find out from her parents if there is a curfew and what their expectations are.
- Don't make your date feel uncomfortable by parking in a secluded or dark place. This is also asking for trouble.
- Don't be a BONEHEAD, learn to control yourself.
- Ask your date beforehand to wear modest clothes. Nothing which shows a lot of skin or is too scant.
- No MEANS "NO" (Respect your date or girlfriend's position on abstinence).
- It's OK to say 'No" to sex until marriage.
- Find a friend or family member to be accountable to in order to remain pure.
- Avoid alcohol and drugs.
- Go on group dates with friends.
- If your 18 years of age or older, BE SAFE... don't date a minor. It is a federally enforced felony for anyone 18 years old or older to have sex with a minor. If caught you could go to jail for along time.
Online dating
If you are considering online dating, here are a few suggestions you should to consider:
- Be honest and don't pretend your someone you're not
- Be upfront with your boundries and don't assume her's are the same as yours.
- Talk to each other at least several times beforehand to see if you are compatible with each other.
- Decide to meet in public with friends.
- Be accountable to family, friends and those in the online community.
Myths:
I don't want my friends to think I'm a virgin, so I better have sex to be cool and accepted.
Truth: There are some really cool and popular people who are open about their virginity. Here are just a few:
- Hilary Duff, actress and singer
- Jean Alexander, actress (Coronation Street, Last of the Summer Wine)
- Edward Morgan Forster, English novelist ,short story writer, and essayist
- Joseph Cornell, American surrealist
- Flannery O'Connor, author
- John Ruskin, art critic
- Todd Fuller, professional basketball player
If you want to be a man you will have sex
Truth: Standing up to peer pressure takes a REAL MAN
Girls want to have sex with their boyfriends.
Truth: Most girls would prefer to wait until marriage to have sex with their boyfriend. Girls are more interested in your commitment and they are looking for someone that they can trust their heart with.
I'm not hurting anyone if my girlfriend and I decide to have sex.
Truth: For a brief period of time it will seem great but afterward there will likely be consequences to your actions. Here is just a sample of a few of them which may apply.
- Disappointment from your parents or some friends if they find out
- Contraction of an incurable veneral disease or STD
- Worry that she is now pregnant
- She becomes pregnant
- Find out 5 to 20 years later that you contracted AIDS through the encounter
- Nothing physically happens but you find yourself idealizing or comparing that encounter with those experienced with your future wife. This could create stress and could lower your satisfaction level in your future marriage. (this would make better sense once your married)